It took me eight years to step out of the self-imposed box I had built around me.
My 20-year marriage ended suddenly; my world shattered. I was left in a state of shock unable to move forward. My negative state of mind impacted all areas of my life- my career, my personal relationships, my health and my leisure time all suffered.
In all of this, I was impacted most by losing myself. I didn’t know who I was anymore. As a daughter of immigrants raised and living in the Asian cultural setting and being exposed to Western culture in the outside world, I was living a dual life. The Asian culture expected me as a divorced woman to behave in a reserved manner and the ‘Western’ culture told me I now had the freedom to do whatever I wanted.
Research has shown that being bi-cultural is a tremendously beneficial trait because it makes us more flexible and creative in our thinking but bi-cultural people may experience their upbringing as the collision of multiple worlds. We sometimes face criticism for stepping outside the boundary of what’s normally acceptable in our culture. I spent 8 years of my life holding myself back from doing what I truly wanted to do in life because I was letting life happen to me instead of for me.
I watched in frustration as others around me found success while I felt stuck.
As my career plummeted, I took a massive step out of my comfort zone; out of my self-imposed box, I decided to attend a personal development workshop. It took me eight years to find the courage to step out.
As they say ‘when the student is ready the teacher will appear’’ I found my teacher at my first personal development workshop and experienced a ‘light switch’ moment, a sudden illuminated path moment, the moment I realized I am capable of more and it was ME who had to make the change.
This was in 2017, the year I fell in love with personal development or personal evolution as my NLP trainers call it. I have spent thousands of hours and pounds attending workshops, seminars, reading personal development books.
I am now a qualified NLP Master Practitioner coaching Muslim women. I want them to understand that it is ok to step out of the cultural norm and that Islam, my religion encourages the development of the self and all teachings from coaches such Tony Robbins to Napoleon Hill can work hand in hand with their religion – if only they stepped out of the self-imposed box.
By Rukhsana Kausar | https://rkcoaching.org