How to Confront a Friend When They’ve Upset You

When our friends upset us, we offend tend to forget that even though we may have known them for years (or even most of our lives), they still are not mind readers. Things can still be taken out of context or misconstrued. Or your friends can simply be having a ‘bad day’. So let’s figure out how to mend that fence without completely knocking it over, shall we?

Tip#1: Do not approach your friend while you’re upset.

This sounds like a silly one, but you have no idea how many friendships get ruined when one of them tries to approach the other while they are still upset. Take a time out, breathe, you can even simply talk about it tomorrow.

Tip#2: Assess the situation.

This might sound like you are trying to solve a crime in one of those CSI shows, but hear me out. If you are following tip#1, you have time to do this anyway, right? What about this situation upset you? Could you have possibly taken something that was said/done the wrong way or vise versa? It’s also important to know these things to keep history from repeating itself.

Tip#3: Use ‘I statements’.

Now this is a tip that I tell couples to do, but this is just as effective in a situation like this. When you do take to your friend, let them know how their words/actions made you feel. This will not only let your friend know how you two got to this point, but this could possibly make your friendship stronger.

Tip#4: *This might be one of the most important ones.*

Once the hatchet is buried, LEAVE IT BURIED! This is yet another thing I have to remind couples as well. No one likes for someone to keep bringing something back up to be used against them. The same goes for your friendship. Even in jest, I can promise you that your friend doesn’t want this issue to come back up every few months.

There you have it! If you followed these tips I hope that you continue to have a wonderful and long lasting friendship!

By James C Green

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