Grief and Pain

Grief and Pain tie together because they both have great significance in ones life. Grief is relevant because a person experiences grief when they are going through pain. Pain is not just the physical but the mental, the emotional and the spiritual. Grief and pain cannot stand apart from one another even though we wish they did.

When I think about grief, I have a huge imagination of what grief looks like in pain. One example is in suicide. Suicide was already at an all time high until the pandemic came along. Conditions in communities and the world at large has brought grief to the surface in the area of pain and suicide.

Which comes first one would ask? The pain would sucome first because there is reason for the pain. Working with teens and families in my career I saw pain with children and teens was due to isolation, frustration, socialization, family problems, self esteem, school problems, mental health problems and the list is endless. Working with younger children was harder to see the pain because they are learning and growing to understand themselves. Play therapy with the younger children is a great idea to get them to talk about pain. They can show through a toy, an object what they are trying to say. I got signals when children were frustrated because they showed abuse through the toys or the objects. Adolescents are more open and will show through having behavior problems and oftentimes presented angry feelings. Adolescents are sensitive and have to be somewhat coached to talk about their feelings. Oftentimes they have difficulty expressing the meaning behind feelings and may exhibit self harming behaviors which is a cry for help. The new approach through reaching adolescents better is through social media. Adolescents like to use their phones and chatting with them through texts and video formats you can be successful talking to them.

Parents and the individuals cannot be left out the equation regarding pain. Single parents struggle with the children and having to be the bread winner this is a trigger for their pain to surface. Two family parents struggle also and depending on the situation there are moments where one member may suffer depression and anxiety and exhibit pain. Individuals can struggle with pain because of feeling alone and having huge amounts of responsibility pressed upon them and will exhibit pain. No one escapes pain in life and the load can get too hard to bare.

Suicide in pain needs attention immediately. There needs to be a plan to help anyone who is feeling suicidal. The pain to a suicidal person feel numb, fatigue, depressed, overwhelmed, fearful, unclear thoughts and feelings of hopelessness and desperation. Suicidal people are great pretenders and can hold a smile on their face and you would never know they have a plan to end their own life. Everyone needs support especially when you hear a cry for help. Suicidal cannot be pushed over the edge to give away their death plans. Skills of listening and watching the body language, facial gestures, verbal and non verbal communication must be taken into consideration.

Here comes the part that hurts the most but fits with pain, the grief.The grief that a person carries in suicide needs major intervention. The grief and pain combined can cause one to be suicidal. As grief specialist, I don’t take one part and leave the other. Grief hurts and grief can also tip someone over the edge to end their life.

Pain and having grief that causes suicide as mentioned needs a plan from the beginning. A few tips regarding addressing suicide in general are to have strong economic supports, stronger access and delivery of suicidal care, identify and support people at risk of suicide, lessons harms and prevent future risks. The higher the suicide rates goes up the more awareness there needs to be. Grief and pain goes together when one feels suicidal.

Dr, Jones,

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